Adult-Onset Agoraphobia
Going out during the day is a challenge but going out at night? Send me to Hell.
Several years ago, Stan told me he’d developed “adult-onset agoraphobia,” a term he made up himself.
I did not understand that any more than I understood my Dad eating dinner at 5, going to bed at 9, and waking up at 5. WTH? Now I’m old enough to understand both.
Since quarantine, going to the grocery store has been horrifying, and not because of Covid. Grocery stores are so big, and they have so many things and there are so many people. You have to drive to get there. Ugh! The thought of shopping makes me want to dig myself an early grave. Instacart has become my Frenemy. Even though they don’t always deliver all of my groceries, I keep going back.
Going out during the day is a challenge but going out at night? Send me to Hell. I held a women’s circle at my house last month. I’m sorry, I just can’t come, a friend said. Don’t worry, I said. If it weren’t at my house, I just couldn’t come either.
I used to teach at a studio downtown. I moderated panels, hosted readings, planned events. I used to go out to lunch, to meetings, to yoga studios. I did stuff. And I liked it! Now the only place I REALLY like to go out is the out of doors. Nature. Bring me to the woods, the mountains, the rivers, the forest. That feels like being at home.
My younger self would have been horrified at this older version of me. I would have thought it was time to roll over and die. Well, fine. As long as I don’t have to go anywhere to do it.
Unsolicited advice is criticism,
—ancient Alanon proverb.
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Sat, May 4, 2024
10 AM – 4 PM EST
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1-4 PM EST
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$250
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Saturday, June 15
10 am - 4 pm EST
Valley's Writing Studio, Richmond, VA
$125
Self-care is an act of holy rebellion. In a hyper-busy world focused on productivity, output, and profit, creating sacred space for ourselves enables us to listen to the quiet voice within. When we are in touch with our intuition, we are in touch with the divine. When we are in touch with the divine, we are able to access inspiration and resources that were not present before.
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